I’m back fuckers

Hello, after some hiatus I’m officially back to promote this site. Things will change, and for the better. I’ve thought long and hard (lol, long and hard) about this site and what we shall do to make it better. And some ideas got trashed (like harassing porn stars on the web cams of Reality Kings) and some will indeed be renewed. So let’s get fucking started. Now you may ask yourselves why I haven’t typed literally anything in two months, and the big question to that is. I’m fucking lazy as hell. I had zero motivation and no one new to make fun of. And dear sweet Jesus that has changed. From Mel Gibson to us American-Tools finally deciding on the Soccer bandwagon. Also, Justin Bieber. Speaking of, I would rather have 9 Hitlers than one Justin Bieber, and I also can’t wait till his balls finally get his hair and his voice changes. We all saw how Michael Jackson handled puberty, he went white.

Also, since I’ve been gone I went to the Lake of the Ozarks with some friends. It was awesome, and let me tell you right now..if you go you might find zombie shits floating in the water. Because we all know I can’t be away from a bathroom for more than a hour before the custard fairies are dancing in my bowels. ALSO, my run as the new Peter Parker has finally come to an end. They casted a young Britt by the name of Andrew Garfield. And yes, we look similar and yes that’s the reason I already like him and would give him a handy-jay.

Also, I fully support Mel Gibson’s rants against his girlfriend. Because that message over the phone was way too fucking funny to just hate him. I mean give him a break in one of the movies he’s in he plays a dude with a blue face and show’s his ass a lot (pro-tip: It’s not Avatar).

Also, he was condemned by Rev. Jesse Jackson, and we all know that’s incredibly easy. You can accidentally break a Brown Crayon and immediately be called racist with that fucker. Also huge fucking news: I made war with someone. It’s name is TwiztedAsh, I planted the seeds for it to attack me back. Every time the she-beast responds to my sass, I’ll post it here. Take a gander at my opponent:

WEIGHING IN AT 3,001 LBS TWIZTIDASH:

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